Sunday, June 26, 2011

Darla!

Despair...

You know how when you just cant get caught up financially, you don't feel good, the house is a mess, everything hurts, stuff is falling apart, and you JUST DONT CARE?  It's like that for me...  Except I vacuumed..

I can't say that I hate my life, because I don't.  But I can say that I think WHY BOTHER?  Imean, my life isn't going anywhere.  I will always just blunder along, trying to get from one day to the next.  Just like anyone else.  It's not like I am feeling sorry for myself, I just don't see the point..

I am sick of struggling..  I would like to go back to school, but I think I wouldn't remember stuff..  I think that I am always going to do hair, but now I don't feel like I do a very good job..  Dropping stuff, don't feel good..

What am I doing here?

Forgot....

I forgot I had a stupid blog..  One that no one reads, but that I was doing for myself...   Shit..  Well, I had a whole month of feeling good..  Then back to bad, now I am good with leftever exploding legs...

Went trialing, and the dogs did great.  I didn't feel very good..

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Trialing....

I got to go trialing in Oregon this month..  I had a blast!  My dog did great and we made it to the 4th series...  I know no-one is reading this so am just writing for myself..  I would never have been able to afford to go if it wasnt for my special friend Brett..  Thank you to him, and to Cindy for hooking me up with the plane ticket, and to Jerry and Jane Patopea for letting me train with them..  I only had MS problems one day... :)

Just a blog someone did....

Had a relative die from MS.. 

http://savemarcelnow.blogspot.com/2011/03/how-many-have-to-die-canada.html

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I want to feel normal again.... DAMMMMIIIITTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today....... I don't get why after doing the awesome steroids, that a few days later I feel so much worse.. Well,maybe not worse, but definitely different. I still have the dizzy, but that could be some after effects of the medicine, or because I did take a couple Xanax last night so I could sleep wich I finally did.. So that was good.

Took my dogs out last night and since I can feel spots in my feet that I couldn't before, walking was different and I fell a few times. Not a big deal because it was in snow. Just felt weird walking because I had gotten used to my old feet I reckon..

This mornng my legs and arms weigh a ton again and the stiff ankles are back. My feet are getting spongy again, and I think I did all this last week for nothing. Maybe I am feeling the depression I always do with steroids.. Dunno.. Just know I am a bit disheartened today. WIll go see my neuro this afternoon after work. You know the reason I had gone last week was to see if there was some kind of pill with minimal side effects for the dizziness.

If I continue to feel this way I won't be going to run my dogs in the trial I was so excited about. I just want to feel normal again.... Well, at least like my last "normal" before the dizzy came....

Here is what I think about that - F^@&!%$@&^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Psycho...

Started SoluMedrol yesteraday.  Last night wasnt so bad..  I even slept which was amazing.  I just hope today goes the same....

Am taking them because of terrible dizziness, exploding legs and other sweet stuff..  It's my favorite....