Saturday, November 20, 2010

My 1st AM

Yeah, so after getting a green ribbon when I should have been thrown out of the Q, I was talked into NOT scratching my entry in the AM by Howard. You know, for the experience! So I gathered up all my inner strength and began my walk to the line. Pretty long walk to the line in between holding blinds! Gotta lot of time to plan your strategy or in my case, realize you are walking to the edge of a cliff.

"Dog number 10 to the line!" I froze. Just stood there. My White Coat friends silently willing me forward. I was looking into the black abyss of 350 yard triple terror. After an eternity, I took the last few steps to the line. Darla was practicing her best 2 foot circle! "Look mom! Gunners everywhere! Wahoooooo! Gonna get some birds! Gonna get them now! Gonna creep forward! C'mon! Show em to me! Boy I can hear the fliers!"

So I showed them to her. Spent alot of time on the 2 retired guns, called for the birds. And then she creeped. 6 inches. A foot! Maybe 2! As I stared down at her, saw every creeping step of her pointy little feet, I couldn't bring my right foot forward to try to influence her to turn to the left bird. I thought she would move some more! All I could do is just stand there. Frozen. Stand there knowing that I just skrewed myself.

She just blasted out to the flyer of course. Then knowing that she didn't see the short left, I sent her to the long, figuring I would pick up the short as a blind. I had a plan! I could feel Howard standing behind me in the blind. Crap! And then, she split the difference, or decided that she thought maybe there was another flyer. Don't know. Just know she was going to no man's land, and that I had to call her back.

Then the words came." Please put your dog on a leash for the honor". OMG! That's the worst ever having to put your dog ON LEAD! I had the biggest lump in my throat. I wanted to run! Hide! Then I was released and I began the Walk of Shame. I didn't look at anyone. I knew I had no business there. None! The ringing in my ears was deafening.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Teaks dad coming over for the fatherly talk. "Not now!" I prayed. I knew I would cry. I told him I would talk later. The he grabbed my arm with one hand, and put his other on my shoulder and the flood-o-tears came! Regular blubberfest! I could barely hear what he was saying. The blood was pounding in my ears. The tears wouldn't stop coming. I was humiliated by my display of emotional girlishness! OMYGOD! Get me outta here!

That's it! I was quitting. I was NEVER GOING TO PLAY THIS GAME AGAIN!!! I couldn't wait to go home ! But alas, I was stuck there cuz I had to buy the stupid ducks for our club. So, there I sat. Waiting for Howard to come put the collar on me. I just wanted to make him proud I kept thinking. I am wasting his time I kept thinking. And just when I thought I was done being a baby, he was there. Man-o-man! He in his matter of fact way told me that if I can't master the emotional factors of this game, then it was the wrong one for me. And how every White Coat has been there. All of that. Uh huh..

So pretty much, I figured I was done. DONE!!!!! I wished Black Mama was there to toughen me up. To tell me to quit being such a baby. But no! I was all alone in my misery. Pretty soon a few other White Coats came my way to let me know it was A-OK! yeah, anyway....

Fairbanks to Anchorage is a long way to think. Pretty sure that now I was done feeling embarassed (mostly because I was crying and stuff) I shall go training today. Got a lot of stuff to work on

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