Thursday, November 25, 2010

WTF is MS anyway?

Well, of course a person could just google it if actually interested..  But it's an autoimmune disease that makes your body attack itself somehow destroying the nerve coating called meyelin.  So, I guess sometimes it can regenerate itself.   There are 4 kinds or stages.  I was diagnosed as most people are with Relapsing Remitting MS, or RRMS.  This particular kind has remission and relapses, which I have never experienced.  I am always thinking when it calms down that maybe I am gonna have a remission, but then it all comes back and sometimes with new stuff that stays in some degree.  I have only had two periods of 12 days each since steroids in February 2010 where I felt  pretty good, and two 4-5 day periods.   I have never been symptom free...

  I believe that I am actually Secondary Progressive MS, or SPMS.   I also know that I have had this disease for a long time, as it explains lots of weird pains and "twinges" that I have had over the years.  My doctor believes that years of steroid use kept me from having a huge onset until it finally did...   Anyhwo, here is what I copied from a website:

About 50% of people with RRMS develop SPMS. This happens gradually, usually within 10 years of the initial MS diagnosis. People with SPMS have fewer and fewer relapses, but begin to have constant, steadily worsening symptoms.  

I hope I don't end up in a wheelchair.  If I do, my plan is to take my own life and be done with it.  I will not be a burden to anyone.  EVER....  But of course knowing y luck, survival instinct will set in and I will not be able to do that, and will just be stuck here.....

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