Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I want to feel normal again.... DAMMMMIIIITTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today....... I don't get why after doing the awesome steroids, that a few days later I feel so much worse.. Well,maybe not worse, but definitely different. I still have the dizzy, but that could be some after effects of the medicine, or because I did take a couple Xanax last night so I could sleep wich I finally did.. So that was good.

Took my dogs out last night and since I can feel spots in my feet that I couldn't before, walking was different and I fell a few times. Not a big deal because it was in snow. Just felt weird walking because I had gotten used to my old feet I reckon..

This mornng my legs and arms weigh a ton again and the stiff ankles are back. My feet are getting spongy again, and I think I did all this last week for nothing. Maybe I am feeling the depression I always do with steroids.. Dunno.. Just know I am a bit disheartened today. WIll go see my neuro this afternoon after work. You know the reason I had gone last week was to see if there was some kind of pill with minimal side effects for the dizziness.

If I continue to feel this way I won't be going to run my dogs in the trial I was so excited about. I just want to feel normal again.... Well, at least like my last "normal" before the dizzy came....

Here is what I think about that - F^@&!%$@&^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Psycho...

Started SoluMedrol yesteraday.  Last night wasnt so bad..  I even slept which was amazing.  I just hope today goes the same....

Am taking them because of terrible dizziness, exploding legs and other sweet stuff..  It's my favorite....

Friday, January 14, 2011

Going trialing!!!!

Yep!  I am going to get to run a Lower 48 field trial in March!  I am so stoked..  I just pray that I don't have any problems while down there..  Or before!  Wahoooo! 

Today at work.......

Today at work I was just sitting there BS'ing with one of the girls, and all of a sudden I felt like I was slowly leaning over, sideways to the right, and I couldn't stop it.  My face was numb..  The co-worker said my hands were shaking and I asked her for help..  She said my face turned red..  So I dunno what that was about but it didn't last long..  The sensation was like I was just floating downward.....

Weird...

Friday, January 7, 2011

WTF!

Well pretty sure I am sick of being like this.  I will describe what each thing feels like:

Exploding legs - This feels like my legs are filled with something really heave and that they are going to pop.  Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it doesn't.  This is my least favorite thing, because it just drives me crazy.  Coupled with popcorn legs or electric ones, or all three makes me just want to scream...  I get this if I do too much, or don't sleep enough, and sometimes for no reason...

Electric legs - This feels like electric current like a continuous 1 or 2 on the e-collar.  But all over my legs, sometimes up to my hips..  This drives me crazy...  I get this sometimes for no reason, and sometimes when I do too much..

Popcorn legs - This feels like popcorn popping under my skin.  I have this everyday and it doesn't hurt.  I can see it all over.  Sometimes I get it all over but mostly it's in my legs.  What it looks like is tiny muscles jerking or quivering under and on the skin.  This doesn't drive me crazy unless it's happening with exploding legs...  I have had popcorn on the top of my head also...  So weird...

Sand - Sometimes it feels like an hourglass of sand is being poured into my legs.  Sand that never stops.  This doesn't hurt, but is annoying....  All of a sudden it will be gone...

Paralyzed leg - Sometimes when I am having bad exploding legs, at night I will wake up and will have the sensation of no leg there..  It's terrifying...  But if I flop around it just disappears...  My arms do it to...

Swampwalking - Sometimes my legs feel like they are wading through a swamp with suckermud and thick grass.  Was one of my early onset things.  It doesnt hurt...  When this happens I fall down sometimes...

Golfballs - Sometimes it feels like I am walking on golfballs and sometimes nerf arrows..  This happens for no reason, and was one of my early onset things...  It doesnt hurt...

Bricks - Sometimes if feels like I have bricks for feet.  Mostly because they are numb alot of the time I imagine...  I lose my balance when there are broken bricks.  Meaning, numb in spots but not others...  This doesn't hurt...

Pain - Sometimes (mostly) my hips hurt alot.  I don't know why worse than others, just know it is always there.  Sometimes my hand feels like it is broken..  Sometimes two of my toes just scream with pain and it quite hideous.  (this happens if they are not frozen numb which I much prefer)  Sometimes my right shoulder hurts for no reason, and because of this I can no longer lift the dogs up into the box...  Sometimes my skin on the right waist on down feels like boiling water is on it.  I used to take Neurontin for it but since that stuff makes me retarded, I stopped it...  Plus I just wanted to know if it went away...  I get weird stabbing pains all over the place for no reason....  Biggest complaint pain-wise is my hips and toes...

Dizzy - Sometimes I feel super dizzy for no reason.  I have fallen because of this.  I hold onto the shower wall because of this every day..  It's not the kind of dizzy where you feel like puking, it's like if you spun in circles like when you were a kid, and then just try to stand there..  It's like that.  Always in the shower unless holding the wall...

Numbness - I have numb stuff all over the place.  Sometimes my back is numb but I don't know until I am in the shower and don't feel the water..  I have made my back blazing red...    I have numb fingertips.  Numbe skin all over....

My doctor called a bunch of this stuff Transverse Myelitis as a symptom of my partifular MS..

Somedays, I just scream inside to myself.  Like this morning.......

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Party like a Rock Star! Happy New Year! 2011

Oh yes!  Happy New Year!  I can't believe how fast this year flew by!  Alot has happened, but I am ok with it now...  I have good friends, awesome kids (well 2 of them) and some dogs that are planning on becoming FC AFC's...  This WILL be the year!  This morning I am having the intense electric, exploding legs, but it is totally worth it because last night I made it all the way to New Years!  Party on Wayne!  Party on Daizy and Tracie!